Just another beautiful day I get to be inspired!
“Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. Write like you’re a goddamn death row inmate and the governor is out of the country and there’s no chance for a pardon. Write like you’re clinging to the edge of a cliff, white knuckles, on your last breath, and you’ve got just one last thing to say, like you’re a bird flying over us and you can see everything, and please, for God’s sake, tell us something that will save us from ourselves. Take a deep breath and tell us your deepest, darkest secret, so we can wipe our brow and know that we’re not alone. Write like you have a message from the king. Or don’t. Who knows, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to.”
― Alan Wilson Watts
I love writing, I love reading. I love to write about love, pain, travel, fitness, food, life and mostly how those topics pertain to myself. I try not to be narcissist but when you are writing a blog about yourself well it’s very hard not to be narcissist. Though the one thing that I think keeps me from being completely narcissist is that I really don’t mind if you hate me.
Well maybe I do mind if you hate me, no one likes to be hated but I don’t base my life or my writing around how others will perceive me. Over the years I have changed dramatically but my love of reading and writing never have!
So why don’t I write more?
Good bloody question! I look at my life and I realise I have stories to tell. Some probably shouldn’t be told least I offend too many people! I haven’t always been the nicest person and I have done some, well a lot, of really stupid things. The truth is though I don’t want to write what could potentially harm anyone from my past but what I want to do, is be of service to other women or men who are looking for inspiration to change the direction of their lives.
I don’t believe, for myself, that I have one purpose in life. I have a primary purpose that is very near and dear to my heart but it doesn’t take up 24 hours a day to achieve. In fact it when I am not traveling takes maybe 10 hours a week. So after roughly after 8 hours of sleep per night still leaves me over 100 hours a week to be inspirational and of service to others.
Now here is where I know I am lazy.
The past couple of weeks I was on bed rest (that story will come in a future post) but that gave me many hours of being lazy or inspirational. What did I do? Well I was lazy!!!!
I could have been continuing my Spanish lessons – I know less now than I did 3 months ago but I still remember my favourite line – Me gustan mucho los perros – I really like dogs! Or I could have been writing more blogs about life and where it is taking me. I didn’t do any of this, I watched endless hours of Grey’s Anatomy, Series 1 to episode 3 of season 9 – TWICE!!!! I should probably write a post on Grey’s Anatomy. A couple of episodes of Bones, Breaking Bad, Criminal Minds, a number of movies and countless hours on that blackhole and complete addiction of mine – Facebook!
I finally started reading again. I fished my kindle out of my bag and started reading. Tim Ferriss to be precise. Other factors including balancing hormones and a loving partner were more poignant but Tim Ferriss made me remember that I am not built for an ordinary life.
So this is what I am taking on – writing my first ebook!
Why am I telling you that I am writing an ebook? Thoughts of what if I fail hit me first, will anyone ever read a book I write. I thought no-one would read my blog and though I don’t have a million let alone a thousand followers I have some who aren’t family or friends following my journey. But the biggest reason I am telling the world is for accountability.
When I was training for the marathon, I blogged to keep motivated. When I did Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation, I blogged (I could probably do with this again to be honest!). So I am telling you SO I BLOODY DO IT.
I haven’t figured out my timeline till self-publishing on Amazon yet nor the biggest part of a book – my topic….. Well this isn’t getting off to a good start is it? The truth is I have too many ideas. Here are my topics I could choose from – my life in the Army, walking the Camino, my travels all over the world and what I have experienced, a life changing event nearly 9 years ago, practicing witchcraft and the search for meaning in my life, and the list goes on. Then comes the problem of how many words, who do I aim my book at, when do I want to release it……. So is this stalling and procrastinating. Probably, well yes of course it is.
Maybe I should try and write 2 or 3 books simultaneously… nothing like multitasking, I am female after all! Argh this needs to be a more controlled effort or all books will be lacking in passion and therefore won’t sell. So this is what I am going to do – I will meditate on which one I should be doing! Yep a little airy fairy but I believe that my Higher Power will speak to me and tell me which book I should be writing.
Funnily enough I can’t put fingers to the keypad to start writing my ebook but I can type nearly a thousand words about being lazy and that I want to write an ebook in less than 30 minutes.
I need my butt kicked!
So one of my dreams is to be a writer and tell the world of my adventures, my passions, my spirituality and the quirky little things that make me, well me! So why does it often feel so difficult to sit in front of my computer and start tapping away.
A THOUSAND FORMS OF FEAR!
I have realised I am very afraid that you won’t like me, that my stories won’t be interesting enough, the silly things I have done in my past will come back to haunt me (I have done a lot of stupid things!) and most of all that I too lazy to be a writer.
When I look back at school I loved English and Geography (explains my love of nature!) and I was somewhat good at both subjects. I loved the writing assignments and although I was never top of the class reading and doing my assignments was always fun.
Now as I sit here writing this I know I need to start writing ‘magazine articles and columns’ and sending them to different websites and places to start getting my work out there. I shiver a little bit at the thought of the rejection but that might also be the fact I have wet hair and the air conditioning is on….
I have been inspired by so many people with my writing and my adventures. This list barely touches the sides but has all the people that currently rock my world:
Dr Wayne Dyer
Benny Lewis (you will learn more about him in a new post about learning Spanish)
(Really do need to find more inspiring women!)
When I first started this blog it was after a trip to Nepal where I spent a couple of days in a Buddhist Monastary where I sat and meditated and read Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone‘s ‘Success through a Positive Mental Attitude‘. That trip and the book opened my eyes up to the fact I was missing a portion of myself.. the writer!
Those that have followed my blog or my Facebook page (Aussie Butterfly: World Dreamings) will know that over the years since I started this blog I have had my far share of heartache, stress, bad times and on the flip side adventure, love and passion. The one passion that has never left me is the desire to be a writer.
It often makes me giggle when I see my LinkenIn profile. Having been in the military for 12 years and then almost 4 years in the Private Security World all my endorsements are very much related to the security industry. I guess it will take time for that to change!
So that said if you know anyone that wants an article written on topics ranging from hiking to Ramadan prayers I’m your writer… send them my way (email@example.com).
For now I must get back to my Spanish lessons! Mi cerebro se vuelve muy cansado (My brain gets very tired – I am learning all the best phases).