Oh the fog has lifted and I am happy to be back blogging and loving my life: 2012 was like pealing back the layers of an onion to reveal more about the person I am. Each day was another step forward towards some life changing decisions. From the start of the year I now have a list of events that got me to today and the grateful feeling I have: a broken heart, 4 trips to the African continent (2 with family), 1 trip to Vietnam, chickenpox, the 10th anniversary of my Father’s death, changes in my work life, embracing my fellowship of friends closer to my heart and 4 months of marathon training.
So just what is the most powerful thing about me: MY PAST
I opened my heart and revealed that many times I feel lonely and a little disjointed to the world that I live in and the feedback I got from friends was amazing. I am now traveling a happy road of destiny. I looked back over my childhood and it was lovely in many respects and in others I was a scared raw little nerve. I never really had the confidence other kids had. Well at least that is how I felt.
I certainly didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin during my 20’s. In fact they were possibly the worst years of my life. I was a soldier during that period and I am very proud of my military history but my personal life was a complete shambles. I made every mistake in the book and went back for more punishment.
Fast forward to today and I have seen how repeating patterns can dramatically destroy any chance of happiness. Now I have high class problems. I live in one of the most manufactured cities ever built and I love it. There are traits about me that continually cause me heartache and I am praying and doing the work on that so that I can live with more freedom.
There were days last year that I felt lonely in my glass tower; living in the worlds tallest building certainly gives credit to the meaning of being in your ivory tower. Now my life is very different, I just need to pick up the phone and at the end of it I have so many beautiful friends and I view my life for what it is. Amazing!
More importantly I know I am never alone despite feeling it sometimes: I always have God
Love Robyn xoxo