When your heart has been ripped out by lies and betrayal what do you do? You start over. Six months ago I would never have thought that I would be sitting here writing a blog about a portion of my life that was nothing but a lie. However, it would seem life has other plans for me.
So how do you start over when you discover the truth about a situation that you have to walk away from. First you go through the range of emotions that feel like they are going to kill you. Shame, hatred, hurt, loneliness, sadness and sheer desperation are just a few of the emotions. One moment you feel okay with what has happened and how you handled it, the next you want to have the reason for your pain to be standing in front of you so you can yell at them again. This achieves nothing in the end and being graceful and letting them go is much more beneficial for yourself.
Second, you rally family and friends around you. Amazingly you quickly realise that though one person will no longer be in your life there are plenty of others who mean the world to you and you mean the world to them. Dinner with friends and home cooked meals can heal the dark spots on the heart. Kind words from loved ones make you remember you were whole before you meet him and you will be whole again soon.
Third, you make new dreams. A years worth of holidays had been planned so instead of still planning on going where you might have gone together, pick new holidays. I choose instead to plan an African Adventure Year. All holidays for 2012 are now being planned in Africa. Climbing Kilimanjaro and Toubkal along with visiting family in Zambia are just the start of new dreams.
But above all you remember to have faith and love. One of my friends told me I should be grateful that I had dodged a bullet by the universe removing this false relationship from my life. So whilst the initially shock and betrayal left me throwing up and crying the words of wisdom of my friends made me go back to my spiritual side.
I don’t know what 2012 has in store for me but I know one thing it won’t be boring or without love. If anything I know there will be adventures, smiles, laughter and love of family, friends and you just never know when romantic love will return. It’s not going to return if I wallow in self pity for the past events. It will return if I get busy living.
So to anyone who has had to start over after love I know how you feel but I also know that I gave enough of my time to the now gone relationship and now its time to give time to me. Go out and enjoy life. Book a massage and pedicure, smile at that cute boy that walks past you and blush when he smiles back, burn your girlfriends melts to make your home smell divine and wear your best clothes and look sensational. Nothing feels better than looking amazing when you step out single again. But most of all smile and love, life is going to be wonderful!