Despite my blog being very personal and revealing I have deliberately kept my romantic relationship fairly unpublished. So when my partner commented that my last blog made him hungry I asked him what my next topic should be and I nearly fell of my chair when his response was my love life. He went on to say that I could write about how our long distance relationship (LDR) effects me.
A LDR has challenges that are vastly different to a relationship with someone in the same location. So what makes a girl decide to have a relationship with a guy who lives in one country, works in another and transits through the country I work in. Feeling alive and laughing for one and he is deliciously handsome for another. I feel extremely grateful that I have meet someone that makes me feel, well like I want to feel, like I am the only girl in the world.
Having had a LDR many years ago I knew there would be hurdles to face. The biggest challenge is miscommunication – skype, whatsapp, messages, emails, and phone calls – getting to know someone over these means a simple joke can be misunderstood, or playful tease can be seen as something sinister and after a long day sometimes down right painful. “The Who” (as my love has been affectionately been nicknamed by himself) and I have fast got to know how each other reacts to stressors, work situations and my emotional roller-coaster ride concerning my health issues and loneliness of being away from the people I care about during this period.
I knew something was special about our relationship when I started researching LDR online. I found support groups, books, online resources and a sense of knowing that this is right and whilst it will be hard work some days it will be worth it when we plan out exit strategy of when we will eventually live in the same place. We have a spot at the moment which I call ours, its down by the fountains underneath my apartment where each night that he is here we go down and watch the fountain while he has a cigar. I can see that spot from my windows and I often look at it and think not long till we are down there again.
Being apart can take some of the intimacy out of the relationship but the small things make all the difference. I send him a photo each morning of what I am wearing to work, I sleep more often than not in his shirt and by doing so he is wrapped around me keeping me close. I formed a bad habit of sleeping on the couch after the last visit as being in the bed without him was lonely but the couch almost felt like someone was snuggled up behind me as it restricted how much I could move. Happy to say I am back in my bed now, I just use a pillow behind me to feel secure.
Since my health problems came to light (which funnily enough I went to the doctor to find out what was wrong because I had meet my love and wanted to be healthier for our relationship) I have been, well for long periods of time a down right horrible person. Combine work stress (for both of us), a lack of sleep, a medical procedure I didn’t need and being placed on the pill, which I am sure didn’t do my emotional reactions any benefits and we have had some testing evenings on skype. But last night I was my old self again and my love said it was so wonderful to have ‘My Robyn’ back.
I have a banner on my wall and one of the messages is: Love – An inspired form of giving, love breathes life into the heart and brings grace to the soul. Whilst our LDR has its challenges I am forever grateful our love makes me feel like that. I look forward to the next time we are together when we both get lost in each others company and simply being by our fountain whisks all the worlds troubles away. So whilst he always says I am just me, I love you for that and thank you for being you! You’ve brought another level of love to my life.