Fit Life Confession…

It is confession time..

I am training for the Davao 50 Ultramarathon and I feel like I have lost the passion for fitness. I even went as far as – wait for it – having KFC in Burnei… Of all the bloody things this aspiring plant-based eater could do!!! I was chewing down on the chips and chicken before I even knew it. My body did protest! I nearly vomited it up later!

I can’t say what happened with losing my fit life love. I had had trouble with my shoes (read every run meant my right foot was in pain) or that being in foreign countries making me not so confident with running. Mind you I did run 18km in Kuwait City while training for the Dubai Marathon so that excuse is well bullshit! I have been blessed with trails around the Sunshine Coast so roads with dogs, scooters and mosquitos was a challenge but not one that should stop me from kicking butt!  Oh was it that I was away from my fellow crazy fit life peeps!

I did do a lot of yoga in Bali and completely loved it but as for people that were crazy fit life peeps there was none that I found!

Cue a change in mindset!

This morning I went to my first crossfit style workout at Fit On Lanta, since leaving a box almost 12 months ago. I have blogged about it before so I won’t go into it in too much details but the rudeness of one of the coach/owners was unnecessary and well quiet frankly if I am paying big money I won’t be treated like shit! I take my money else where! But I digress!

This mornings workout was short but nasty…

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My shoulder held up during the Pendlay Row but I didn’t push the ‘heavy’. For the WOD, I did swap out the pull ups for ring rows and the 20kg KB for a 12kg but I was very happy with my 9.26min finish. Something clicked in my head while laying on the concrete feeling like death at the end, I LOVE THIS LIFE!

Being fit is an amazing feeling. I am not talking about skinny! I am talking about achieving goals, being stronger than yesterday and having a sense of self that no-body can destroy. With less than 50 days till race day I know I am not going into this my fittest but I will be ready to having some fun and challenge myself!

So for the next 3 weeks that I am in Koh Lanta I have 3 Crossfit, 3 yoga and 4 runs per week! I am excited again to live this fit life! I may have even found a trail in the national park! Woohoo let’s pray I am correct on that cause I really want to run a trail again!

I challenge you to get up from behind the computer and do something to improve your health and fitness!! Remember it isn’t about being skinny it’s about being better than you were yesterday!

Blessed Be
Robyn xox

New Year New You…Bullshit!

Version 2I know I am a little late but it still is that time of year again… New Year New You … I’m calling Bullshit!

Don’t get upset about my swearing and the fact that I’m calling bullshit on resolutions does really sound funny when it is coming from me. I am all about creating a new and wonderful life for myself but truth is that on the whole New Years Resolutions suck! Gonna do this, gonna do that crap just doesn’t work. Least not for this little chica! Ok so I am not really a chica anymore but just go with me for now.

As much as I hate the concept of New Year New You, I am actually been pretty good at making resolutions over the years. Many years I have sat down and written out a list of goals that I wanted to achieve. I have not necessarily done this at New Year.

This year as I sat at the top of Mount Kinabalu I wondered what the coming year ahead would bring. 2016 is going to be an interesting year. I am traveling semi-solo (I keep meeting people and planning to meet with them so hence the semi-solo) for the majority of the year and then returning to Australia for my younger brothers wedding to his wonderful bride whom I already call my sister-in-law.

I already have many goals mapped out for 2016.

Fitness: 1 x 50km ultra marathon and 1 x 100km ultra marathon and finally riding from Brisbane to Bondi with my coach and a group of other crazy nutters from the 26-30 Dec – that is going to be an epic 40th Birthday present to myself!
I am also doing a 200 hour yoga teachers course in India as well as completing some fitness coaching courses. Reminds me I need to finalise that payment of the course!

Health/Diet: I have been heading towards Plant-Based eating for some time now and this year I will be working even harder towards that. It is difficult traveling because I am not so sure if the food I am eating is completely meat free but to date I am still eating seafood and the occasionally dairy (chocolate is my weakness on long hikes!).  Awareness of what I am eating and how I am fueling my body for my general health as well as my fitness is all I can really ask when I am not in a position to cook my own food.

Travel: Perhaps the biggest part of this years goals in travel. I am currently sitting in Brunei, my 51st country but over the next few months I am going to: Singapore, Thailand, Philippines, Myanmar, Laos, Malaysia (mainland) and India for the second time. I am also debating if I can fit in other countries while I am at it but slow travel is more economic and with my studies and work it is also more practical!

Studies/Work: I am working my way through a course (or 2) as I travel and they will be the basis of a new and exciting adventure to come. For now I will continue to keep that a little close hold as it won’t feature till mid year.

Love: So this is not about romantic love but love for myself, life and others. While I was walking down Mount Kinabalu I realised I still have a lot of hang ups and issues pertaining to love. My romantic love history is pretty damn depressing and part of that comes from not thinking I am worth my soul mate or that I missed the boat and they doesn’t exist. One of the last guys I dated told me because I was ex-Army, training for an Ironman and independent that I was more boy than him! I guess the old saying – strong women intimate boys and excite men… Would the real men stand up and be noticed. So I guess what I am saying here is that with all the travel, adventure, study and fitness I actually don’t have room in my life for a partner but I am open and willing to work on myself so that when life presents me with an opening for love of a romantic nature I will be ready.

Minimalism: This will be my hardest area.. I am currently traveling with WAY TOO MUCH SHIT!!! Seriously, I travel all the time and yet I am still the queen of over-packing and generally just carting way too much crap with me! I think I need to just be ruthless and ditch what I haven’t worn since I left Australia a month ago!! Yes there are clothes I haven’t worn in a month that I am still carrying!!

So why do I call Bullshit on New Year New Me? I find a lot of people don’t put any thought or real consideration into their goals. I have all the details of my goals mapped out.  Timelines for completion dates and milestones. After I hit those goals and dates I will be sharing them but for now it is time to explore Brunei before I hit the road again!

Tell me, do you have a plan for 2016?

Blessed Be

Robyn xox

Honouring my desire..

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You can’t help but think about LOVE in Bali! Ever since Eat, Pray, Love (both the book and the movie) came out, Bali seemed to be the place to find love. I didn’t come to Bali with the intention of finding love.

In fact the very opposite!

On my last long term travel adventure I meet and fell in love (still not sure if that is the right word) with a charming Catalonian. After meeting on the Camino de Santiago it seemed like a perfect love story. I then continued on my travels around the world! While I was in Cuba it got messy. He wanted to continually talk to me while I was there. Internet is both expensive and difficult to obtain in Cuba so after wasting many hours trying to find it and waiting in lines I was frustrated with him and the machismo culture. He wanted to join me when I got to Mexico but I tried to persuade him to wait till after I had finished a few things I had planned to do.

In the end I got sick of the accusations that I was cheating on him because I didn’t want him to come now but rather later. Instead of doing what my gut told me which was tell him ‘fuck off!’ (sorry for the swearing but it was what I felt), I invited him to join me in Mexico. From the second day I knew I had fallen pregnant and that I really didn’t want anything to do with him.

What a horrible position to be in. Previously, I had meet a great bunch of fellows who inspired me. No I hadn’t meet another man but more a group of women that inspired me and whom I had a lot in common with.

To cut a long story short over the course of the next 6 months in Belize, Guatemala, Mexico (where I had a miscarriage) and Australia we fought and tried to keep it together at the same time. It all looked like our world was great on Facebook but I was miserable. Why I didn’t tell him not to come to Mexico the first time or subsequently to Australia after the miscarriage is beyond me.

In the almost 2 years since then I have been reluctant to open myself up to a relationship. The few times I did date, I got burnt. I have to say that my heart wasn’t really in to finding love but more finding what I desire.

The desire I sought and seek is in relation to my life not necessarily desire in relation to an intimate relationship.

I want to know what makes me giddy with joy, what causes me to stay up late without eating because I am so engrossed that I don’t even think about food.. This will be a tall order given how much I eat.. I want to feel alive! Travel makes me feel alive and that feeling was very much part of my decision to spend nine months traveling.

I have dreams, goals and desires for these months. Including launching a business, publishing my book (finally) and running an ultra-marathon. So when I arrived in Bali I didn’t expect to be confronted with those old feelings of misplaced desire. I wasn’t honouring my desire but rather people pleasing. Thankfully fate intervened and I was back to knowing romantic love or lust wasn’t what I desired.

When the offer was presented, I jumped at the chance to visit a healer. The negative feedback I had heard about the Healer from Eat Pray Love had turned me off though. Same advice for everyone…. Instead of seeing him myself and a fellow female digital nomad went to visit, Cokorda Rai. This 87 year old Balian – Tradition Balinese Healer was a bit of a trip!

At the start we weren’t really sure what the hell was going on. Vera went first and he picked up on a lot of things. I won’t go into her story but she had to lay down while he used what looked like a chopstick to test points on her feet. It looked cool!

Bring on my turn!!!

He and his trainee were fascinated by a tattoo I have between my shoulder blades. It is the Chinese word for Goddess and a celtic symbol for the three phases of a woman: Maiden, Mother, Crone. This tattoo honours my heritage and my feminist values. That said he eventually started applying pressure on my head and some bits hurt like bloody hell. It was here he told me I had a lot of stress from a previous job but because I wasn’t there now it would be better soon! How on earth could he know that I had just finished a contract and was in transition.

Next he placed a finger in both ears and asked me to open then close my mouth! It felt like something exploded in my left ear and then the blast went out the top of my head. I have no idea what happen but I felt calmer and clearer. He didn’t want me to lay down but he gave me a little lecture on following what I truly desire and that would bring my passion back.

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I am a long way off truly knowing just where all my desires lay but one thing is for sure since arriving in Bali I am more enthusiastic about my studies and personal development. Less so enthusiastic about my running, it’s hot, humid and pollution makes it uncomfortable running but I have a goal I want so well it is a case of jogging on!

No doubt over the course of my travels more random and unexplained things will happen but I am looking forward to going inwards to see where my desires really lie and what passion will bring with those desires. Life is a roller-coaster that I am intending to take full advantage off.

What does your heart truly desire?

Blessed Be
Robyn xox